EP 99 - MARY SHORES THE POWER OF CONSCIOUS COMMUNICATION IN BUILDING YOUR BUSINESS PART 3

Steve:  00:06    Welcome to the awesomers.com podcast. If you love to learn and if you're motivated to expand your mind and heck, if you desire to break through those traditional paradigms and find your own version of success, you are in the right place. Awesomers around the world, are on a journey to improve their lives and the lives of those around them. We believe in paying it forward and we fundamentally try to live up to the Great Zig Ziglar quote where he said, you can have everything in your life you want. If you'll help enough other people get what they want. It doesn't matter where you came from. It only matters where you're going. My name is Steve Simonson, and I hope you will join me on this awesomer journey

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Steve:  01:15    You are listening to the Awesomers.com podcast series, episode number 99. Today is the third in the three part series. So another way to say that was part three of a three part series with Mary Shores. And Mary who if you've been following along parts one and two, you already know she's a best selling author and actually got best seller badges at three different categories of Amazon as you'll hear about if you haven't already. And she's also a CEO of a very large and successful collection agency which been referred to as one of the most unique collection agencies in the country. And Mary has already told us about this concept that you know, even as a debt collection company and this is a substantial business, eight figures a type of business, she is able and has the goal of actually making the positive outcome be the result of every conversation.

Steve:  02:10    So let me just repeat that. Once she and her team mostly is calling somebody who owes a debt, their mission is not to collect the debt on that first call is to have the customer ended up having a better day as a result of that call and that is extraordinarily unique. And so her book about conscious communication, the methodology you see applies to it and all the neural learning and and you know, kind of all of the things that she's been able to put together as part of her approach to this subject matter is truly inspiring and something that I think has been really fun to listen to and learn from. So today is no exception. You're going to learn a lot more. We talk about cons of great takeaways and action steps today, including a special bonus if you won't want to miss it. I am glad that you're here and I thank you for listening.

Steve:  03:00    I believe in this idea that we should make progress towards whatever is important to us. And then everybody should define what's important to them themselves. That's for sure. It doesn't, you know, for me, I'm not Amazon, but I'm an entrepreneurial centric, right? Most of the people I deal with that I run around with our entrepreneurs, that's just because that's my tribe, but there's many people who are, you know, everything from artists to other types of creators to, you know, thinkers that are maybe they're engineers or or builders or whatever. There's so many different people and everybody should find their own tribal, what makes them happy, but, but finding their own path of whatever their own mountain is, is a really important thing and being authentic and genuine is probably the most freeing thing ever. It's like just taking all that baggage off your shoulders and go, you know what?

Steve:  03:48    I'm me, you know, either like it or you don't. I don't know what else to tell you, but that's the way it is and that's, that doesn't give us a license to be in A-hole. All right. Because that's just a behavioral problem that needs to be solved. But just being authentic and true. For me it has, it is an unleased every bit of success that I've had over the past 20 to 30 years in business. I, I just, I'm not smart enough to be anybody else, so I'm just gonna be me and they either like it or they don't. So really, really wise words on genuine authenticity. Mary, Let me ask you this because I want to talk a little bit more about your book and, and, uh, and you also, as I recall, you have some sort of workbook download that we're going to talk about a, is that right?

Mary:   04:33    Oh yeah, sure. We'd got, um, if anyone, if any of your audience is interested, what they can do is, um, we've got a mini communications code workbook. So if you want to learn the strategies that is the foundation of my business. And um, I've been training on this for 15 years, so I basically gave all your viewers a copy of the workbook that I use in my trainings. So you can also, uh, along that lines, if you want to know more, you connect with me on Linkedin. I am going to be doing some webinars coming up and I'll definitely post them on linkedin so that anybody that wants to get involved in those and learn that strategy we will be doing that very soon.

Steve:  05:15    So we'll make sure that in the show notes for our show notes folks that we get in a Mary's link, which is a always in the pre-production notes and also the Linkedin link for you as well because a lot of customers out there, whether you're listening to the audio version of this or later seeing the video version of this, you know, we want to be able to give you some actionable. Right? Mary and I can have a nice conversation. You guys can listen in and we all go, hey, that was great and you know, we carry on with their lives or you can take action. And I'm a big guy that says if you like what you hear, if it's resonating on some level with you, even if it sparks that curiosity. And I think Awesomers in general are not just curious. They're passionately curious. They, they really want to know how their world works. And how they can make an impact in that world in a positive way.

Mary:   06:05    Well, they would love me then because that's what my, I think that my entire life revolves around that one concept right there.

Steve:  06:12    Well, I think it's a really great concept, and again, this is part of being a learner, I suppose, but when, when you hire people, I highly recommend to Awesomers anywhere that you hire curious people, preferably passionately curious people because those are the people who will, they will not stop when they hit an obstacle. They will figure out how to solve the obstacle. They'll figure out a way to get around that obstacle and move the obstacle. But one of the cases versus coming back to you and go and I couldn't figure out how to enter this lead in the system. It's like I hear you, um, there's some training and we should have some good, you know, uh, ways of coaching you. But you should also be innately curious. And that is really for me, a defining difference between, you know, somebody who can help manage themselves in large part versus somebody who you just have to Kinda, you know, over and over go, all right now do this. And they come back. Now I'm done. What do I do now? So I don't know. Have you found that curiosity in some of your staff being leading to better productive, uh, work results?

Mary:   07:13    Well, I think that I'm in a lot of like being a leader for 20 years. I mean, first of all, the only way I could have even written a book is because I have a team of rockstars, you know, because I run an eight figure business and I could not function without having a team of people behind me. But I think it takes both what I call the thinkers that must, I think that's in alignment with what you're talking about is the curious and the doers. So you've got the thinkers and the doers. The doers are the people who like that busy work. They can get a lot of stuff done, but as soon as they encounter that wrench in this rocket, they stopped. All right, but the thinker is going to. The thinker is going to come across that monkey wrench and they're going to figure it out.

Mary:   08:04    Okay. And I think you need it. I think you need a good mixture of both. Like you've got a disc profiles are a really great way to kind of figure out where people are at because they do compliment each other. Like I'm a high DI, which is a dominant influencer and then there's the S&C, which actually, I hate to say this, but it's so little interest to me. I can't even remember what the s and the c stand for because I'm literally a 99 D 89 I and then my scores on the s and the c are like a nonexistent. It's like, do you have a pulse here?

Steve:  08:37    Yeah, so the S&C is so low that the definition of those was not even. It didn't even.

Mary:   08:42    I don't even. I can't even register it. It didn't been score high enough to find out what SNC even made. Yeah. Nice. The thing is that it's also about your, your ability to, um, build that, you know, I didn't, I didn't build this rockstar team of people because I'm a fabulous leader because I'm nice and friendly. I did it because my business, my work is built on a mission. And when you have a mission that you can share with other people, you will, like you said, like a magnet, you know, your choices to be on that mission, to be on that right path in life is going to attract the people around you that you need to have that happen. And another thing I just would really love to say about this, especially if you're Awesomers are starting a business, have a business or considering having a business that, you know, the number one mistake I see small business owners make is that they don't document.

Mary:   09:33    You have to document everything. So like when you were giving that example about the person who needs to call over the supervisor because they don't know how to enter the widget or whatever into the system. Well they should have a library of information that they can go to and just get the step by step keystroke of how to do that. I don't care if it's on video, I prefer things being on paper because you can update them really easily. But that has really been my key to freedom is that we document everything. I like to say there's a work instruction on how to create a work instruction.

Steve:  10:06    Great. Well I tell you, I'm a big systems believer and I completely support this idea of, of you know, consistent and thorough SLPs, especially for every one of those kind of a day in day out types of roles for those keeping score at home by the way. So dominant and inspiring clearly Mary's key parts of the disc profile. Supportive and cautious would be the S&C for those who are interested. And you can see how very cautious she is. Yeah.

Mary:   10:33    So it's interesting because I just want to say I do ring, like I like, uh, I don't think that I, I mean I feel like I could definitely be more of a supportive person, but again, my business that's built on a mission, you know, in that dominant influencer is what helps me create that mission in the world to create change. And then the cautious part. Well, I mean, just by nature of being an entrepreneur, I think your risk tolerance is through the roof. The doers are, I think a lot of times in the conscious, the doers, um, a lot of times are in that sort of cautious stage, you know, that's their comfort zone.

Steve:  11:09    I think that's right. I had the great privilege to be working with an interviewing somebody that I would call like a really professional, you know, righthand man, in this case she's a woman. But the point is that that's her key thing, right? So she needs somebody who is the strong and the DI, right? Who Has the vision, who has the passion to, here's the idea, we're charging the hill, let's go. She's like, Hey, I'm here to support you. I'll make sure that we keep the food and the ammo and the whatever to take the hill, but I'm also going to be over here warning about, you know, hey, there's some landmines to the right that, you know, I'm using a, a war analogy here, maybe not super friendly for the audience, but the point is she is all about the S&C and this is, this is really what makes a team, you know, overlapping skills.

Steve:  11:55    If you don't have multiple people with multiple skills and you're all on one side or the other, you got problems. Yes. You agree? Yeah. So let's, uh, we're starting to run against the clock a little bit, but I have some more questions I want to get out and get done. Um, was there any big lesson that you've taken away? You know, we've talked about some of these things already, but was there any big less of that just stands out that you were like, I'm burning to get this into the brains of other people finding you care to share?

Mary:   12:25    Oh, well I feel like we've done a good job of sharing things as far as a lesson, I just guess I want the audience to know that doesn't necessarily ever matter where you're at right now, you know, you just, you just build and continue to improve upon your life and you get there.

Steve:  12:43    Yeah, I have. Well I really, I love that. And so part of the, the show introduction says, from my words are, it doesn't matter where you've been, it only matters where you're going. Right. And too often people get caught in that where they been as an obstacle. Do you feel that where you're going is something that people can still control and they still have a influence on?

Mary:   13:04    Oh, absolutely. You're the only person who has control over it. I'm going to read just a little something here out of the book that I think fits with the question about leaving that last little nugget.

Steve:  13:18    Okay.

Mary:   13:19    And um, it Kinda goes back to something we said earlier in the conversation. This is from page 158 out of Conscious Communications. "I know it's easier said than done, but what if as an experiment, you try to be happy just by becoming who you really are, just living it and stepping into it to get to who you really are. You have to shed layer after layer of who you've been pretending to be layers of the person that you know deep down you are not. You're shedding layers of your problems, layers of self judgment, layers of how others have judged you, a shedding layers of unworthiness, fear, worry, and unnecessary responsibility and layers of beliefs and challenges around what other people think you are, or even worse- think you should be." The reason that I think that this is so important as that kind of last nugget is that I myself suffer from this greatly, and it's this word judgment. Judging the things you know. If a lot of spiritual and new thought leaders talk today about the concept of alignment and getting your life in alignment and you truly cannot be in alignment. If you have something in your library that you are judging yourself for from the past.

Steve:  14:29    Oh, so powerful. Well, first of all, a bestselling author, Mary Shore, giving us a live read of Conscious Communication. So thank you for that. That's amazing. Um, I really, first of all, the Awesomers out there, uh, you know, of course I'm going to buy the book because I enjoy learning and neural science and you know, all these other factors that talks about communication and getting more control over it. Uh, one of the things that moved me early in our conversation, Mary, is this idea that, you know, the words we should say and the words we shouldn't say, can I have a pretty high impact in our, in our life and as marketeers or salespeople or whatever the case may be, we should know those words. Is there any discussion of those types of words in the book by any chance?

Mary:   15:12    Oh yes. Um, the book, right in the introduction, it gives the, the whole backstory of, of the communication strategy. I even had a podcaster, she read the introduction of my book and then she put the strategy to use. And then she told me this and it's called the, the show is called Business Breakthroughs. With S. D. Rand, she told me she made $4,000 in one email using my communication strategy. So if you need, I mean, what more motivation do you need than that?

Steve:  15:42    Yeah, it's, it's super clear. So anybody who is in business or in marketing, digital marketing, whatever we're going to get that book and because we're Awesomers, we always pay it forward. We leave nice five star reviews because that's what a, a probably has been deserved and earned a, b. that's what we want other people to do for us. So we give before we get, we pay it forward everybody. And so, uh, we're going to get that book. We're going to leave some nice reviews. I'm Mary, I'm just curious about your crystal ball, see if you can get your crystal ball handy and tell us the future a little bit in five years, uh, what, if anything will be different in our world? Anything that's important to you? And then what, if anything that maybe is counterintuitive, may stay the same if you can think of such a thing?

Mary:   16:27    Well, do you mean in, in like our world as a whole in our culture or do you mean my life personally?

Steve:  16:33    Anything that you care to share, whether it's your life and that's gonna be a reflection of the world or vice versa.

Mary:   16:38    Well, I think that, um, in our world we're shifting from that, that old paradigm, you know, in a you're eighties person, me two and a born in the seventies grew up in the eighties and you know, back then we used to always play monopoly, right? I'm sure you played as a kid and course we played together. I would beat you, sorry.

Steve:  16:57    That's probably true. I'm not going to lie.

Mary:   16:59    But let's talk about that. So like, you know, when you play monopoly, you want to win and what's the only way to win monopoly?

Steve:  17:06    You got to get the uh, park place and boardwalk

Mary:   17:09    Yeah, and you have to bankrupt every, all the other players. That's great. Yes. And don't you see that as like how metaphor was for business in the eighties, nineties, even going into the Millennium? Do you notice that? And so are where I think we're going in five years is to a collaboration based, you know, seeing other people as collaborators more so than we see them as competitors, figuring out how we can work together instead of working against each other, you know, we're seeing that with so much open source, why do we want to have this medical team over here working on this breakthrough in this medical team on another continent, working through a breakthrough.

Mary:   17:50    They should be sharing their information, you know, we can get things done much faster in a world of collaboration than we can in a world of competitiveness. And so that's where I see us going in in five years as a collaborative, you know, myself personally, I'm, I'm working on my second book and after that I would like to work on a third book that is all going to be about debt. So hopefully, you know, would like to write more books, grow my business, have awesome adventures in life. Just went to Peru this past summer. So we'd love more adventures like that.

Steve:  18:27    Well actually I went to Ikedose, so that's in a different direction. Yeah, I went to the Amazon jungle. Well, this was one of those things, so first of all, thank you for your time and you all the great wisdom you've laid out before us, uh, and I salute you for being able to create a lifestyle and a business and, and you know, to make them kind of work in harmony with one another where you can kind of live that life that you want to live the life worth living as they say, versus just being, you know, uh, I don't know, an indentured servant at best or a slave at worst to either a business or some other entity that you don't have passion for. It is clear. You have great passion. So thank you again for your time. Um, and uh, uh, in any final words for Awesomers out there, I should give you one last run. I don't know, just to say thank you so much for having me on the show today. It's certainly a pleasure. Um, I, I want to tell Awesomers out there. We'll be right back after this and we're gonna make sure you remember that all these, uh, show notes, links to the book, all this stuff will be out there for you and make sure we get a and take action today. So we'll be right back. Right after this.

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Steve:  20:22    Well, everybody, you know, Mary and I talked today in this, uh, three third part of the three part series, and so this is the last one in this, but we've talked today about being genuine and being authentic and the impact that it could have on your, your personal life, and you know, I shared some of my story that I feel like it can be very freeing. It can be unburdening to, to be your true self and all of this may sound trite or may sound even capricious, to, for somebody to say, oh, just be yourself and everything will be okay, right? That's what they used to tell you when you go on our date. And believe me, that was the worst advice ever, but I digress. The point is when you truly are authentic and genuine and when you truly can express who you are and you're not afraid of those people who are turned off by that, that's when you will find the people who are most closely associated with it.

Steve:  21:18    And most, you know, like you, and that's where you can find your tribe. This doesn't mean you need to live in this so called echo chamber where everybody has the same opinions about everything, but it's where you could find people with common interests, common goals, and you can support each other. Finding your tribe is only possible once you are truly honest with yourself and you're genuine and authentic to who you really are. Mary's approach to this, her explanations of it and even her live read from her book is truly something that shouldn't. It's very much appreciated by me and I know that Awesomers around the world would appreciate it as well. So thank you again, Mary, for being so generous with your time and your ideas and thank you for taking a leadership role to help other Awesomers around the world get better at communication.

Steve:  22:06    No doubt. We're going to have you on again for an authority story and we'll dive deeper into conscious communication and how people can really improve the way they interact with people. They could improve their marketing, they can improve so many parts of their life. If communication has improved, that much is absolutely certain. So again, this has been episode number 99 in the Awesomers.com podcasts series. Just pop on over to Awesomers.com/99 to find all those show notes, details, links, and even the bonuses that we've talked about at the end of today's episode. Now I do want to make one special note since we pivoted to the shorter time. I guess for each episode we were delivered on average 60 minutes for the first 80 or so episodes and then the last 10 or 20. We've done these, we broke it into 15 to 20 minute increments.

Steve:  23:02    And I, I just, I asked for you guys feedback, go to Awesomers.com/contact to let me know, you know how that works for you. I think it's very, very good because you can take just a small part of your day that 15, 20 minutes and you can get, you know, a little piece of somebody's story each and every day. I really prefer long form content where we could dive in deep to the details and I'm not just asking for like a, a little soundbite on each question. I want to really get to know people, I want to share their truly inspirational and often, you know, heartbreaking stories. Mary had some true adversity and tragedy her life, yet she continued to carry on as so many Awesomers do and, and you know, reconcile how all those things came about and make sure that part of her life is to continue to improve ourselves and those around her.

Steve:  23:55    And that's an awesome or mentality for certain. So my thanks again for listening. Everybody, please share, subscribe, uh, leave me some feedback if you like. If you're gonna, leave it on itunes or whatever. Please leave five stars. If you want to send me hate mail personally, that's okay with me, but definitely try to keep my reviews a company because that's, that really keeps me going each and every time I see a new review. Thanks again everybody. Well, we've done it again, everybody. We have another episode of the Awesomers podcast ready for the world. Thank you for joining us and we hope that you've enjoyed our program today. Now's a good time to take a moment to subscribe, like, and share this podcast. Heck, you could even leave a review if you wanted. Awesomers around you will appreciate your help. It's only with your participation and sharing that we'll be able to achieve our goals. Our success is literally in your hands. Thank you again for joining us. We are at your service. Find out more about me. Steve Simonson, our guests, team, and all the other Awesomers involved at Awesomers.com. Thank you again.